Five Do's and Don'ts for the Online Dater

New online dating sites are popping up all the time, which is either a sign that the dating form is becoming more and more regular, or that people just love "punny" tongue-in-cheek .com venue titles like "PlentyOfFish." I write this blog from the perspective of the former, but secretly hoping for the latter. (Bring on "plentyofsausage.com," por favor?)

The Do's:

1. Create a profile. The simple and obvious note regarding online dating, don't simply be the bystander mocking the concept when you yourself haven't had a date in over a year. Your pride doesn't mean a whole lot when you're sleeping alone, does it?

2. Use a recent picture in your profile. You have some flexibility with this one; my personal rule is to not post anything more than a year old. However, if you're approaching the big 5-0, be aware that your date might step into the restaurant a bit surprised if you posted a picture of your 25-year-old self with rock hard abs, and you're sporting a new gray 'do and a beer gut.

3. Find the right forum for you. Not all dating networks are the same; if you're a lesbian you certainly aren't going to want to sign up for Grindr, and if you're a gay man, you're probably going to want to steer clear of the homophobic eHarmony that seems to get more TV advertisement than Viagra circa 2000. Like anything else you'd deem important in your life, do your research.

4. Be available, but don't be too available.
You want people to know that you're on the market, but refrain from using the dreaded "R word." Even if you are looking for a relationship, don't specifically advertise that you're looking for one. It leaves the door open for relationship-addicted freak-a-zoids to knock on your profile's door and throw out a marriage proposal. But do be clear and specific about what you want so as to create a niche audience for yourself.

5. Don't be afraid to embellish. Leave your ethics out of your profile. Even if your life is boring, you should never advertise yourself that way. Take the mundane and make it interesting if you have nothing better to include in your profile. So you like marshmallows? Throw in some snarky, made-up "Brokeback Mountain" joke about a time you and your pals sat around the campfire making smores. You work at Wal-Mart? Tell them you work at Whole Foods - especially if you're shooting for the hipster crowd.

The Don'ts:

1. OkStupid. OK, so OkCupid actually goes on the list of better sites you could be using (especially as a free site), but the forum has its flaws in both design and demographics. In general, the site falls in a particularly unique category of sites where you are able to see who is viewing your profile, and when they're viewing. This could be a great thing if everyone that views your profile is sending you a message, but be prepared to ready those shields if you can't take the self-esteem hit. These sites are meant for the confident and straightforward, not the weak of heart or timid types. I won't advise you to not use this site, as I've had my own set of personal success stories with it, but I send you into the battlefield waving a warning flag.

2. "Hey, hot stuff." You find that sexy gal's profile, your claymore goes skyward bound, and your immediate instinct is to let them know. When you reach this point, run to the nearest freezer, grab an ice tray, and topple it downward; no one wants to talk to a creep, even if you're attractive. Success with online dating comes not just from having a perfected profile, but from knowing how to greet new people. Find something witty to say pertaining to their profile without making it look like you've scanned everything they've written three times over.

3. Don't reveal too much, too soon. One of the biggest problems with online dating is that your back-and-forth messages don't leave much room for a great introductory conversation on a first date. Try to keep your conversation a length where you can determine your level of interest, and then continue the conversation in person if you so choose.

4. Choose a safe meeting place. Thankfully, the issue of safety with online dating is slowly going downhill, but it is still an issue. I made the mistake of meeting a 50-year-old creep posing as a 25-year-old hunk at his home; believe me when I say you never want to end up in such an awkward position.

5. Don't linger on a profile. In between your date, it can be easy to stare at your computer screen and reread their profile in anticipation of an exciting date. It's understandable, but building expectations for a date is never a good thing. Dating - online or off - is not meant to be an end-all, be-all of your life, just a side story on an ongoing adventure. Don't take it so seriously.

Have some online dating do's or don'ts of your own? Send me an email at brandon.baker@temple.edu, or leave a comment below.

Meeting 'Mr. Right' in the 'New Age of Dating'

When it comes to finding love, we like to imagine that perfect meeting spot. You catch someone coyly smiling at you from another table at the coffee shop, or that perfect gentleman helping you stand up from your broken fall on the street corner. It's romantic, it's dreamy, it's corny.

The imagining of meeting that special someone and actually experiencing it for yourself are in fact two very different ideas. If we were to delve into the details of how modern people meet their loved ones, you'd be more likely to hear a story starting with the word "OkCupid" than you would be to hear anything about some handsome silhouette sweeping you off your feet.

I call it the "New Age of Dating." Just as the standards changed when the automobile and movie theater came into play, so it has changed with the introduction and endurance of the Internet. Like it or not, it dictates who, where, and why we date.

To broaden the matter, the invention of the cell phone and the "love to hate" text message have stretched out this concept even further. Now, when you meet that person that catches your eye online, you're not just expected to sit through a charming instant messaging conversation at your computer, you're expected to send that person a glowing text message on the go ... and God forbid you send it a minute late.

I recently got together with one of my favorite "Jersey boys" (who, at his core, is anything but Jersey-typical) for coffee and catching up, and he informed me that, upon some deep reflection, he had decided to drop his cell phone plan. To make things more interesting, he decided to do so immediately after spending a large sum of money on a brand new smartphone.

Go figure, right?

As someone who is practically in a relationship with his phone, I didn't know what to make of it. His primary argument was that - on top of being an extra expense - his cell phone stifled personal interactions. He was essentially saying that cell phones don't make socializing easier, they in fact do just the opposite.

And as I thought about it more, I had to question it myself. When it comes to interacting with others, particularly dating, does new age technology really change the dynamics of dating for the better?

As time has gone on, the text message in particular has become a subject of interest. "OMG, he didn't text me back!" is a pretty common, eye-rolling phrase you'll hear passing by someone on the street. When it comes right down to it, texting has become more political than it has personal.

And online profiles? Somehow it has become considered "creepy" to view someone's profile, or to write too much about yourself in an "About Me" description. Color me ignorant, but the whole point of a dating site is to have access to this sort of thing, correct?

As a society, we've become so consumed in the norms of the digital age, that we don't actually stop and think about whether any of it is benefitting us at all. We seek not a real connection from our text messages, but an unhealthy, sometimes dangerous self-validation that a relationship should not be dependent upon. That isn't to say I'm an advocate of ditching the cell phone and laptop, but I would advise putting the phone down and ignoring your match.com or Grindr accounts for a few weeks, and seeing how you handle it.

One of the greatest lessons I've learned thus far in the dating world, is that the bigger the challenge is, the bigger the pay-off will be. In a society where passive aggressiveness has become commonplace, you'd be amazed what wonders being straightforward can do for you. So the next time you find yourself typing that extra "lol" or "smiley face" in your text message to earn "cool points," try hunting that love interest down in person and letting them see that beautiful smile for themselves. It's more telling than any kind of short-form syntax, and just might get you that one, genuine response you've always hoped for.