Five Surefire Signs Your Date is a 'Phlake'

On my on-going hunt for the perfect stud, I've encountered many a flake in this fair city of ours, indicating that I either attract all of the wrong people, or that -- as is more likely the case -- you are in eminent danger of being approached by one of these malignant, yet strangely seductive creatures.

The Philly flake.

But no worries, consider me your Spider-Man (or Batman, depending on which summer blockbuster you're currently stanning for), ready to shoot-out my white, sticky string and take down your flake with one shot. (That sounds much more sexual than actually intended, I promise.)

Or, perhaps more realistically, I can offer you a few tips on identifying this elusive being and picking a guy or gal who won't leave you standing at the altar or, just as bad, sitting alone in the coffee shop with two already-bought iced coffees and damaged spirits.

1. He/she leaves out the specifics. All too commonly, people make plans for a date, but fail to rein-in the specifics. Going for coffee? Great, now find out where. Going for a walk in the park with some ice cream? Sounds fantastically corny, but which park? Which ice cream joint? These are simple questions that somehow are frequently left unanswered for one reason or another, but if you notice the other person becoming particularly hesitant when asked to provide details or offer recommendations, odds are the person is more attracted to the chase of scoring a date than actually fulfilling the dating obligations. Ambiguity is the enemy.
2. An inconsistent rate of texting. Texting is one of the biggest (and easiest) ways to uncover a flake. If the person you've planned a date with fails to respond to your text message within an hour (particularly during the morning or early evening), their level of commitment is probably fairly low. It might sound harsh, but if someone is excited about a date with you, it will show in their language and willingness to respond to your messages. Don't lie to yourself and believe his/her phone died and your text hasn't been read, or that they've just been too busy to respond. Typing a response takes all of ten seconds even with the most irksome of phones; they know you're there, they just don't care.
3. Unusual circumstances of meeting. I'm constantly baffled by those who meet someone at a bar on a Tuesday afternoon and are shocked when they finally realize they're either a flake or, frankly, a loser. Add context to how your date came to be; if the person bailed on friends to come talk to you, that probably doesn't bode well for when you're out on your date and suddenly find yourself drinking alone as he/she mingles with other people.
4. "Yeah, maybe." The M-word: "Maybe." My advice for this one is simple and straightforward: Avoid this person at all costs. You don't want to date a "maybe" kind of person, you want someone self-assured and able to provide you with definitive answers that don't leave you feeling insecure or confused. In this sense, their uncertainty should work to your benefit.
5. They have a demanding job. Although understandable, those with time-intensive and unconventional jobs are common, unfortunate criminals of flaking. To their defense, it can't be helped -- being a worker-bee isn't a crime, but consciously leading people on and squeezing them into a daily schedule right after their morning meeting with their boss and immediately before a flight to Tokyo is.

Have some of your own tips for identifying a "phlake"? Send them to @BrotherlyLover on Twitter or to brandon.baker@temple.edu