Philadelphia is loaded with an unfortunate amount of suburban and rural newcomers that are painfully unaware of how brutal the Philadelphia dating scene can be. As someone who has been around the block once or twice, I offer my advice based on the experiences I've had thus far in Philly's dating world. Hopefully this list can help prevent a few heartbreaks and disappointments from coming to fruition... and maybe even lead to some success stories?
1. Do not text a person in between an introduction and a first date. The whole point of a first date is to get to know someone, and form an impression based on all angles of an individual. This includes body language and tone of voice. It's counter-intuitive to have your first date before you actually have your first date.
2. Know when to change yourself and when not to. This is perhaps one of the greatest pieces of advice I can offer anyone new to the Philly dating scene. It is only natural that you'll have to alter your "real self" for your date; dating is a lot like running a business. You need to market your product, know your key demographics, and present yourself with a reasonable asking price. However, know what's worth changing about yourself for someone, and what is completely unacceptable by your own self-respecting standards.
3. Know which dates are worth making in the first place. So many people become either jaded or pessimistic because of their choice in dates. If you're unsatisfied with the dates you go on, then by all means, change your target audience. Don't keep dating the same types of people over and over again, expecting a different result. That isn't how it works. You may find that the guy or gal that seemingly "isn't your type" is the love of your life.
4. Don't limit yourself to one dating resource. You like meeting people through the Philly bar scene? Cool. I'm sure there are plenty of success stories from people meeting at Woody's and Tavern (note the hint of sarcasm), but people who frequent these places tend to either be looking for something that isn't quite defined as a relationship, or to pull a "flirt and flake." If you want to meet a variety of people or someone "wholesome," look elsewhere. Try Shoprite.
5. Always go into a date prepared to pick up the tab. And please, people, leave the feminist-inspired bullshit at home. I'm not saying you need to pay for dinner, but be prepared to offer. Very few people honestly like paying for someone else's dinner without at least being given the chance to not have to.
Look out for the remaining five tips this Wednesday. If you've experienced something that's taught you a valuable lesson about dating and the elusive feeling of "love," please shoot me an e-mail at brandon.baker@temple.edu or leave a comment below. "Sex and the City of Brotherly Love" wants to hear what you have to say.
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