As promised, below are the remaining five tips for the new dater in Philadelphia. (And don't forget to check out the first five if you missed them!)
6. Create a conversation, not a reading of your first memoir. It's good if you have things to talk about, and it's natural to want to sell your goods, but don't drown your conversation with talk of your cat or all of your forgotten dreams. It isn't that no one cares, it's more that you're opening up too much of yourself before someone can be given the opportunity to care.
7. Don't drink too much before, during, or after your date. If you're slurring your words at "hello," you know you have a problem. Your rate of drinking can be better felt-out once the date begins and you get your first drink, assuming you're at a bar, restaurant, or the person's house/apartment. (And if it's the latter, then your date sounds like it's already set for success.) After your date, drinking tends to only lead to over-analysis of the night's events, and if you know yourself to be the reflective type, know to especially avoid the hard liquor.
8. Stick to your guns. As much as you would like to argue otherwise, deep down you really do know what you're looking for. If the guy or gal is too thick, thin, prickly, wimpy, whatever it may be; don't settle for something you know you aren't content with. Or in other words, don't make shit shine.
9. Be creative with your Philadelphian date destination. No one wants to be taken to Starbucks on their first date, when there is a perfectly attractive local coffee shop down the street. And if you're gay, please know better than to take your date anywhere in the Gayborhood. It might make sense on the surface to have a "gay date" in a gay-friendly area, but do you really want to deal with the possibility of your date checking out the view mid-sentence? You don't need to add competition into the already complicated political dynamics of your date.
10. Hold off on that good night kiss. Philly men are just too non-committal and apprehensive for a good night kiss; it's a cold, bitter reality of the "Philly flake." Besides, it's important to realize that your kiss is a very symbolic tool in the realm of dating. You may want to reserve that kiss for leverage in the future. And if your date does miraculously go in for a kiss, don't be afraid to tease. It makes the chase all that much more exciting.
As previously mentioned, "Sex and the City of Brotherly Love" would love to hear your own tips on dating in the City of Philadelphia - or just in general! Let your voice ring loud for all of your lovely and lustful Philadelphian comrades by shooting me an e-mail at brandon.baker@temple.edu with your dating tips or comments on the compiled list above!
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