Fighting the Fairytales for the Life of the 'Single and Fabulous'

Living the life of the "single and fabulous" is, more often than not, quite the challenge - especially in the City of Philadelphia. You believe in love, but you don't believe in its necessity to living a good life. You believe in companionship, but you don't believe that it needs to come in the form of a life partner. And most importantly, you believe in sex, but you don't believe one lover is enough to last a lifetime.

Our society loves to put down those who live the single life as narcissistic or, worse yet, cynical. They claim that if you're living life out loud as a single person, then you must simply be "lost," which is, more often than not, followed-up with that blood pressure-raising stare of sympathy that says "Honey, you just haven't met the right person yet."

As any Philadelphian that ventures out on a Friday night can tell you, this city is filled with single men and women. But it's worth noting, that being "single" is much different than being "single and fabulous."

If you've ever watched a Disney movie, you're very much aware of the heaping amount of pressure put on individuals to find their Prince Charming or Cinderella. When was the last time you heard a fairy tale that ended with the girl being single and enjoying a cosmopolitan at a bar on a Friday night?

You don't; but that doesn't mean you shouldn't.

Our lives ultimately boil down to what we make of them, and as it seems, we try to make them unrealistic love stories that just never come to fruition. We linger, we dwell, and we expect nothing but the best for ourselves when it comes to love.

But consider this: What happens when you have spent your entire life making decisions that revolve around the mere possibility of someone coming along? Consider, for a moment, whether you could live with yourself knowing that you'd spent a lifetime making your story another version of a ninth-century writer's deluded fairy tale.

Obsessing over love does not make it come to you any faster, nor does it make your life any more accomplished than it would be otherwise.

Truly, to be a compelling version of "single and fabulous," the first step comes not just in realizing that your so-called "soulmate" may never stumble upon you, but expecting that very outcome. Plan your life on the realities of today, not on the hopes of tomorrow.

But perhaps what one really needs to know about being "single and fabulous," is that the label is not (and should not) be defined by the example of the person that frequents ICandy every night, or has promiscuous sex just for the sake of doing so. After all, the label isn't "single and desperate."

What is really fabulous about being single, is the self-confidence you build in the process of understanding that your life does not need to be recognized or built-up by anyone other than yourself. Who cares if your significant other doesn't approve of your career path? Who cares if he/she thinks you're too "this or that;" what matters is what you think of yourself. And if you don't love yourself, then certainly no one else is going to love you.

Some call it harsh, some call it deviant, some call it a bad Lady GaGa song. I call it fabulous.